First Time to Therapy and Feeling Nervous? Here’s What to Expect!

First time to therapy and nervous? Don’t know what to expect?

Good news! That’s normal. Humans fear the unknown, so when we face a situation of uncertainty, the natural reaction is to sense that our safety might be under threat. We can take a few seconds to consider the likelihood that we will be unsafe in a therapy session, and perhaps, feel a bit more at ease. Providing you a safe space to process is a pillar of the therapeutic experience. It is highly likely that you will feel safe, and eventually even relaxed.

Many people might engage in the Tyranny of the What If’s: “what if my therapist thinks I’m…weird, bad, crazy …?” What if they did? Then what? Then nothing. That’s not their focus. Try to remember that your therapist works for you, you do not work for them. They are on your team and want you to feel better. Therapists tend to be solution-focused, and are more interested in how they can help you. As you are talking, they are assessing what your goals and needs are, so that an effective treatment plan can be created. They are thinking about what skills they can teach you and what tools they can offer to help you improve your situation.

What to Expect at Your First Session

At Safe Harbour, you can expect to be emailed all the forms required before your appointment, so that when you arrive at your first session, you will have the full 52 minutes to chat. There is no wrong way for you to approach this. Some people want to get to work in their first session, so they put enough background information on their Intake Questionnaire for the therapist to already have a strong sense of what work needs to be done. Other people prefer to be minimal or general on their Intake Questionnaire because for them, it’s easier to explain it in person, than to write it down.

Both approaches are effective, so do what feels most comfortable for you. Some people don’t feel ready or able to say a word in their first session and that’s okay too. Your therapist likes to talk sometimes too! They have a wealth of psychoeducation they can share with you on any general topic you came for. So if you can’t open your mouth, but your Intake Questionnaire said you have anxiety and depression, then your therapist can begin teaching you how to manage these things, without you ever having to speak.

In addition to information gathering, the other goal of the first session is to establish rapport and begin developing the therapeutic relationship between you and your therapist. At the end of your session, you should feel safe, heard, and respected. At the end of the session, your therapist will summarize what needs and goals you communicated and suggest the strategy moving forward. If you both want to work together, moving forward, then scheduling your next appointment would be the final topic.

Scheduling Appointments

At Safe Harbour you can schedule yourself on our website. To secure the frequency and day and time you desire, you will want to book out recurring appointments for at least the month ahead.

Scheduling Frequency

Initially, your therapist might want to see you weekly, as background information is gathered and initial psychoeducation is provided. After that, sessions typically space out bi-weekly. Some people get to a maintenance phase, and attend monthly or as needed. While that is a general framework of frequency, each case is unique and therapeutic needs differ. Your ability to attend, with regard to time, budget, insurance and capacity, may dictate frequency. Your therapist will work with you to accommodate your participation options.

In case of illness, inclement weather and so forth, some people prefer to keep their appointment, but change the location from the Safe Harbour office, to Virtual. No problem! You can either change it to virtual yourself on the website schedule, or you can contact your therapist to request the change.

Preparing for the Appointment

The night before your first session, you might have trouble settling down to sleep because you might be rehearsing in your mind what you want to say. This is also common. This is a good time to use any relaxation skills you have already learned, or a good time to watch or listen to something with that goal. If you cannot fall asleep, perhaps you can free your mind by writing all those jumbled thoughts down in a journal. You can read them again in the waiting room, if you think you need reminders.

If your appointments are in person, you can expect to arrive and seat yourself in our beautiful and cozy waiting room. Most of the time, you will be the only person in the room. To foster that, we stagger our appointment times, so one therapist starts on the hour, another at 15 minutes after the hour and the last at the 30 minute mark. As long as people do not come more than 15 minutes before their appointment, then each client will have privacy in the waiting room, where we have a full coffee and tea service, snacks and a fridge stocked with water, so make yourself at-home! Your therapist will come out to the waiting room to get you upon the start time of your scheduled appointment.

In the meantime, congratulate yourself for taking this big step toward better living. For many people, making the decision to try therapy is a big one, and we recognize how hard that could be. Some people find it helpful to organize their thoughts with a brief outline. It might read:

Therapy Goals

1. Learn to manage anxiety and depression
2. Unpack past trauma
3. Address unprocessed grief
4. Process a specific issue
5. Navigate a conflict
6. Learn how to have a healthy relationship with communication skills and conflict resolution skills
7. Assess, explore or learn to manage alcohol and/or other unhelpful substance use
8. Develop a healthy bedtime ritual to improve sleep and hygiene

Finally, remember to breathe. Deep diaphragmatic breaths, before you sleep, before you drive and while you are in the waiting room. Deep breaths will enable efficiency of thought and decrease the physiological symptoms of stress. Most people actually enjoy their first therapy session and leave with a sense of relief and hope. It is helpful to tell yourself that this will likely be your experience too.