Navigating the Holidays During a Time of Grief

The holiday season can be hard for many people for a multitude of reasons, but this is especially true for those who are dealing with the loss of a loved one. This can certainly change the way your holiday celebrations look, and even make you not want to celebrate at all.

Grieving the loss of a loved one is never easy, but the holiday season tends to put a spotlight on grief. This time of year is full of traditions and big group celebrations, but memories of years past serve as constant reminders of what, or who, you may be missing this year. You might be feeling like the memories are too much to handle, or you feel like you want to skip the holidays altogether. You’re not alone in feeling like this might not be the most joyful time of year, and that’s ok. Learning how to cope with these feelings will help you get through this tough time, and hopefully make this season a little easier.

Coping with Grief During the Holidays

When learning to cope with your grief, you must first acknowledge that this is going to be a difficult season, especially if it is the first one without your loved one. Going into it with the expectation that everything will be the same as previous years is only setting you up for failure. When you acknowledge this and consider how you might be feeling, you can begin finding ways to cope.

Don’t force yourself to celebrate. Setting appropriate boundaries is important during this time, and only you know what will be too much. Try not to isolate yourself, but don’t feel like you have to be present at every social event, or put on a happy face even though you might not be feeling so.

Check in with a support group, a therapist, a faith community, or family and friends. When you’re ready, let them know how they can help you, whether that means asking someone else to host the holiday dinner or letting them help you shop or cook; be open to the help others offer.

Allow yourself to feel sadness or anger, but to also feel joy. This is part of the grieving process, and everyone grieves differently. Feeling joy or happiness during a time of grief might feel wrong, but it doesn’t mean that you or anyone else has forgotten your loved one.

Take care of yourself. Don’t use alcohol or drugs to avoid your emotions; this will worsen anxiety and depression. Also, don’t force yourself to power through everything going on during this season. It might be your first instinct to keep yourself as busy as possible to avoid being present with your feelings, but that will catch up with you. Instead, find things to help you unwind and cope with your feelings in a healthy way such as exercise, spending time with friends or family, writing your thoughts down in a journal, or simply saying no and knowing your limits.

Do something in honor of your lost loved one. Big or small, doing something in memory of your loved one can help you cope with your loss and help you feel like they are still a part of the holiday celebration. You could light a candle in their honor, cook their favorite food or make their special recipe, play their favorite music, have a moment of silence to honor them, or make a donation or gift in their memory.

The holiday season might look a little different after losing someone you love, but remember there is no right or wrong way to celebrate after experiencing such a loss.

Talk to a Counselor

Finding and maintaining support while grieving the loss of a loved one is crucial to coping with that grief. We recommend seeking help from a professional that you trust and can connect with. To see if we are a good fit for you, contact the counselors at Safe Harbour Counseling, we would love to talk!