Becoming More Assertive in Your Personal and Professional Life

What Does it Mean to be Assertive?

It’s common to think that being assertive is synonymous with being confrontational. It’s also common for actions of assertiveness to cause anxiety because of this. To work through those feelings, we must first understand what it means to be an assertive person.

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident, without being aggressive in defending a right point of view or a relevant statement. This is a learned behavior and plays a role in how we communicate. So in other words, an assertive person can express their thoughts and feelings with no problem, and is willing to stand up for themselves and what they believe in without using aggressive communication. An assertive person is also very aware of others’ rights and feelings, and is willing to work with others to resolve conflict.

Why is it Important to be Assertive?

Assertiveness can help you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while respecting the rights and beliefs of others. When you are communicating with assertiveness, it’s easier to form a common understanding, and you will gain a sense of empowerment and self-confidence, be able to better understand and recognize your feelings, improve your decision making skills, and form stronger relationships. All of these benefits will help boost your self-esteem and earn the respect of others, which can also help with stress management.

It’s important to practice assertiveness in both your personal and professional environments, though it may look a little different as your relationships differ in these two aspects of your life. The benefits remain the same, however, and having these strong communication skills will help lead you to an overall healthier, more fulfilled life.

How to Become a More Assertive Person

People who are assertive share a few common characteristics. First and foremost, they exude confidence. Confidence, however, is not to be mistaken with arrogance. When someone is confident, they believe in their ability to handle a situation, and trust in themselves and the information they are delivering.

Assertive people are also calm, and can deliver information in a very controlled manner. They typically do not argue in conversations, and don’t feel the need to always be “right”. Along with this, they deliver their messages or their needs very clearly. It’s very easy to understand and they don’t leave room for confusion.

As mentioned above, you should practice assertive communication in both your professional and personal life. Below are a few actions to start you on the right path.

Assertive behaviors in the workplace

• Express your opinion and speak directly
• Take pride in yourself and your team
• Take accountability for your own mistakes
• Make eye contact with others
• Make sure everyone is on board with a decision

Assertive behaviors in your personal life

• Say “no”
• Be decisive
• Choose positive communication
• Set practical boundaries

Reach Out for Help

If this is new to you, no worries! We all have to start somewhere. Anxiety is normal if these aren’t the behaviors you’re typically used to, but implementing some of these strategies may just help reduce stress and improve your mental health in more ways than you think. If you need help working through this, the counselors at Safe Harbour Counseling Columbus are here for you! Reach out to us to see if we are a good fit for you, and let’s get started on this journey together!